I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
