She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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