5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
