he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
