Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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