just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
