Please, let me fuck your mom
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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