Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
