New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
