There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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