TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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