you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
