If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize