careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
