Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I wear drunk well.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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