Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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