so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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