Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize