I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
