Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
