My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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