I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
