...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
