I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
