I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
