Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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