He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize