I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you will always have a special place in my vag
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
