Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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