I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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