how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
