Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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