Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
