question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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