theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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