Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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