He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize