Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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