I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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