Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
