Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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