Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize