Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
