Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
