The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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