Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
