I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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