quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
