Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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