Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
porn star boner night. come get it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
