Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
