i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
