You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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