Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
