I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
