He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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