Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
