Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
