I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
