sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
