Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
