In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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