I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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