Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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